By Robin Korth
The day I slowed down long enough to admit to myself that I was tired of telling myself it was okay to not feel okay, was the day the “good girl” finally bit the dust. There I sat at fifty-something with everything my culture told me I should have in order to be happy. I had the husband and the children, the house and the career. I had the education and the comforts. I had hit the marks and toed the lines, but my heart was numb and the achievements of my life sparkled for all to see like silver paper stars on the forehead of a “good girl.”
And I had been so very, very good. Dinners were made, meetings were met, homework was helped and clothes were folded. Cars were driven here and there and my smile shone pinched and perfect. The alarm clock was set. Tonsils were checked and teeth were straightened. Pets were vetted and vaccinated. Baseball and tennis, tutoring and music, bedtimes and bath times all marched to the beat of my orderly direction. Duties were dealt with and “yes” was the answer to every request. My husband had become just tolerated as parents and relatives were catered to. And I was a very “good girl.”
But beneath the beaming brow of every “good girl” resides the heart and mind, the soul and spirit of a woman who is becoming an older woman with each passing day. How much of ourselves do we keep buttoned up and pressed down and primped perfect? How much of our individual worth and beauty do we set on the back burner as we rush about being “get-it-done darlings” for everyone else?
We must do it all so very well, don’t you know? Isn’t this what will make us happy—being so very good? I so thought this, until I realized the “good girl” had to go. She brought with her a subtle resentment and a quiet anger. Her burden was a guilt-shot, wiggling disappointment. So I made a decision. I ditched the “good girl” and began the search for me. What served my growth and my spirit? Which decisions were mine and which were rote responses that I needed to discard? And slowly, I began to learn myself.
Today I am a good woman. I can say, “No.” I know that I matter just as much as you. I no longer bend to anyone else’s opinion of me. Perfection is no longer part of my vision. Putting others first is not always a given. I decide what is valuable and needs my attention. I choose what I can let go. I know what I cannot.
So, if you are struggling with disappointment and a quiet anger, you might want to look at the “good girl”—or boy—in your life. Maybe they need to bite the dust.
Robin Korth enjoys interactions with her readers. Feel free to contact her on Facebook.
To learn about her new book, “Soul on the Run,” go to: www.SoulOnTheRun.com
About Robin
Robin Korth is a renegade and an outlaw. She is also an international speaker, writer and businesswoman. Number four in a family of seven children, she grew up in the 1960s uncluttered scrub palm neighborhoods of Miami, Florida. After years of doing life as she was “supposed to,” Korth walked away and began doing life from deep inside. She captures her experience in her book Soul on the Run (Balboa Press 2014), which is her courageously honest exploration of the power and joy that living is meant to be.
In 2013, Korth launched her information and blogging website, which generated more than 40,000 likes on Facebook in its first year. She also introduced the “Robin in Your Face” daily motivational app, which has been downloaded thousands of times across the globe. She is a divorced mother of two, has a friendly rescue dog, named Scruffy and a self-assured cat named Sean. For more information, visit RobinKorth.com.
