Wondering how to make lasting change in your life but don’t know where to start or how to sustain what you start? For most people, starting is easier than sustaining change – you know all those New Year’s resolutions that come April are nowhere in sight, or the diets that start on every Monday and somehow end by Wednesday? Many of us are good at starting things, but not following through – and there’s a reason for that.
While some say starting is half the steps to making a life change; it’s not. Starting is good, it shows seriousness of intention. But it doesn’t show strength of intention. It doesn’t show commitment. What keeps the world going is sustained commitment – think of a government that builds train tracks and starts train service. Without commitment – schedules, staff, day in and day out working – the service wouldn’t benefit anyone. You need the trains to work every day, every month in order for them to be useful. No stop-and-go’s and no random schedules.
It’s the same with introducing change into your life. Laying tracks might help you map how to make change happen in your life but to actually make the change happen, you need to run the trains – every single day. Without thinking it doesn’t serve anything or that it’s boring.
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The First Step – Accepting Where You Are
You might have tried to introduce lasting change into your life. Big changes. Ambitious goals. Maybe you didn’t even truly consider your starting point – say you feel that you are weight and you decided you’d look like a swimsuit model in three months. It’s not really doable – your goals need to be objectively doable, with a clear point A and an obtainable point B. It also needs to feel subjectively doable to you – without causing you stress.
One way to set achievable, realistic goals is by truly accepting where you are. Going with the example above, if weight is an issue, be honest with yourself and accept your current size without judging it. It’s just a number. What matters is that you’d like to feel lighter, fitter. So, going down how many sizes would help you to feel that way? Remember, it’s not about the number – the number is just a placeholder. How you feel is more important.
To accept where you are, you need to stop fighting your feelings. Focus on how you are feeling, rather than numbers, and those standards that the society pushes on us – mostly advertising folks. If your goals is to save money, how much would make you feel good? Don’t exaggerate the amount you can put aside, as you also need to eat. In being realistic, take your feelings into account – maybe you start by saving small but the act of saving itself will make you feel better and that’s what matters.
Feeling better
The reason many people want to create change in their lives is simply because they want to feel better. They are actually after a better feeling state – the change is the means to it. The change is not the ends. So, here’s a question for you – can you start feeling better already, at this point? Yes, you haven’t achieved your goals, maybe you haven’t even started yet. Maybe you are not even sure if you can succeed. It’s okay. It’s normal. What you can do right now is change how you feel about yourself and your life.
The less you dislike, hate or fight your current life situation, the better your chances of improving it. The more self-accepting you feel about where you are and how you are, the better your chances of starting a change that will stick.
Talk to a top-rated psychic astrologer nowMaking peace with setbacks
Once you start the change – say you started exercising, or eating better, or decided to work fewer hours and be with friends and family more. It goes well for three four weeks and then you experience a setback. You don’t feel well, something comes up, and you don’t stick to your new routine. At this stage many people give up completely. They label themselves as failures and walk away from their goals.
Everyone experiences failures and setbacks. Even the most successful people do. What they don’t do is give up. They continue investing in the new change. They continue going back to the original commitment. They don’t just give up like that. The “lasting change” definition means it will last – that you will make it last. That you won’t raise a white flag at the first setback.
You can view the setback as a tiny test. Like a pop quiz in school and you didn’t do well. But it won’t affect your overall grade. There’ll be midterms and finals and the teacher’s own opinion of you. Lasting change meaning includes “lasting” – that you see your goal the way you’d see taking a class – day after day you learn the material. When there are things you don’t understand (such as your subconscious desires or the psychic energy of your emotions, for example) you go to the teaching assistant – in this case, a friend, a family member, a counselor, or a psychic.
Get the help you need to perform well. And remember, no one is else can actually test you or grade you. This is between you and your life. You are both the student and teacher – and life is the school. Support yourself when you need it. Be a good teacher. And be curious about your setbacks instead of judging them – like a good student.
Your Brain on Changes
Our brains don’t get used to new things right away. Different researchers give different figures but in general it’s said that it takes our brain six weeks to get used to something new and want to sustain it. So when you start making changes, the first phase will be at least six weeks. But the brain’s new neuro pathways are still fragile, after the first six weeks your job is to strengthen them, to make them permanent.
We can get used to any new situation – we’re just wired to do that. But to sustain the change, we need to help our brain, our own nervous system, and our spirit. Imagine – it takes a newly-born human being years to get used to living on Earth, to actually be able to do it on her own. So change takes time. Believe in yourself – believe that you can sustain it, that you can view setbacks as little life lessons to learn from.
Psychic help
One thing that might help is to get some psychic guidance to identify what the setbacks might be, before they come to you. A good psychic should be able to work with you to foresee what might come your way as you embark on a new journey. Knowing what might be coming towards you may make you better prepared.
Get a reading – if you feel like it – to see how your new goal fits with your life purpose, where you are emotionally, and what the universe has in store for you. It might help you set better, more achievable goals. It might help you stick to them no matter what and see them through to the end. Best of luck!
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