Letting go of love is one of the hardest things to do in life. When to let go of a relationship, how to let go of love – these are all difficult questions to answer, as every relationship is unique and deserves its own particular place in our lives.
It’s inevitable that we treat different relationships differently, depending on the relationship, our partner, and where we are in life. We also treat breakups differently. This is only normal and explains why we should stay away from cookie-cutter advice. Taking the time to understand your own unique situation is crucial. This is where friends come in. This where family comes in. This can also be where personal psychic advisors come in.
Treat our article as a starting point – as we explore the difficulties inherent in soulmate separation or of letting go of the one you love – be it your life partner, a recent relationship partner, or someone you might have never dated but fell for deeply.
A lingering relationship wound is an obstacle on the path to finding love again – every relationship that ended needs to be grieved for a long enough time to heal the wound thoroughly and fully. Sometimes we can’t move on because we’re still grieving, we aren’t ready, but many other times we don’t move on due to other psychological factors. In this article, we look at different subconscious reasons and popularly held beliefs that cause people to stay stuck in the past. Talk to a love psychic now
Belief #1: She/he was special
A lot of us get stuck because we confuse the concepts, the feelings and what it is we’re trying to do. We associate love with a particular person, without realizing that the world is full of people, some of whom can inspire even greater love in us. We make our worlds smaller by ascribing so much power to one person. Yes, your ex was important to you and you should grieve the loss – but consider this: when a relationship ends, it is not the person you’re letting go of, but what’s called the “soul of the relationship.”
Truth is, the loss of the soul of the relationship is what needs to be grieved the most. The soul of the relationship can be thought of as the energy field you’ve created between you two. This soul was a friend, a helper, a supporter who held you like a mother. It made you feel safe, loved, and cared for. It eased your loneliness, kept you company even your partner was far away. It held a mirror to you, helped you to grow, evolve, and become a better person. What you’re losing is the company of this soul. And what most people forget to do, is to grieve this particular loss.
Letting this soul go is difficult. But there is a way love can stay while the person who inspired it and the soul of the relationship can both go. It’s by remembering that you are not letting go of love, the verb. Loving is your birthright, it’s like breathing, and you’ll do it all your life regardless of who inspires it in you. There will be many more “relationship souls” that can be formed in your auric field. Your heart is much bigger and stronger than you realize; it never forgets its ability to form deep connections.
Belief #2: It was perfect
It’s one thing to reminisce the past and quite another to idealize it. Many times, the reason we can’t fully move on is because in our minds we turn past events into a fantasy – ceasing to remember the bad moments, the fights, the mistreatments, “conveniently” forgetting all that, and reconstructing the past to turn into a movie-like love story. This is a very human thing to do. We do it because we want to believe what we had was beautiful and worth experiencing.
But relationships don’t have to be perfect to be beautiful. In fact, they don’t even have to be “beautiful” to be life-changing. Hollywood has done all of a disservice with all those rosy love movies, making us lose our grip on reality. Because sometimes it’s actually a difficult relationship we need, to discover our true self.
Sometimes letting go means realizing how ordinary our relationship was. Remember, ordinary doesn’t mean mediocre. Ordinary can be beautiful, deep, and completely worth living. Ordinary can also harbor negativities because anything in life has both positive and negative aspects. Drop the fantasy – your relationship was just another relationship. The more special you believe it to be, the more difficult it will be to move on. There’s nothing wrong with living an ordinary life.
Belief #3: I’ll never love again.
Unless you are 103 years old with a terminal disease, chances are you can and will love again. The refusal to love again can hide many subconscious motives. It could hide your fears – maybe you don’t want to be vulnerable again. It could hide a desire to believe that what you had was special, therefore you were special – a refusal to be just another human soul among millions of souls, a refusal to be ordinary.
The human heart has almost unlimited capacity to love – again and again, more and more people. But we, as the owners of our hearts, don’t always know this or allow this to happen. Our pride gets in the way. Our ego wants to believe our relationship was one of a kind.
Every love is different. Each has a distinct quality. You might never love the exact same way again, but you can love again, and maybe in a better, healthier way! There are millions of ways to love – experiencing one doesn’t mean you’ve it all covered.
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Belief #4: He/she was my soulmate.
Maybe. And maybe not. As many psychics tell us over and over again, soulmate relationships can stem from past lives, but it doesn’t mean we will only have one mate in this whole, long lifetime that spans decades. In fact, our soulmates tend to come to our lives only to remind us what love is, but not necessarily to be together again. Most soulmate relationships are too painful for this reason.
You can always talk to a past life psychic if you have a strong hunch that your partner and you were together in a past life. Discovering what happened then can help heal what’s happening now, and help you to move on much faster than otherwise.
Ultimately, it doesn’t matter whether you were twin souls, soul mates, or life partners. What matters is finding those reasons that are holding you back from moving on. What is it that your soul is trying to learn from this relationship? What are you refusing to see and learn? Unless you learn the lesson, the fantasy will continue to linger.
Moving on for good
Heart bonds between people work in mysterious ways. Some of us fall in love only after being in a relationship for a long time, and others of us fall in love at first sight, without even dating the person. How you fell in love is irrelevant – but what you experienced, how you were moved in your core, what types of emotions came to the surface are all extremely relevant.
The feeling of love can coexist with so many other feelings. You can love someone and be disgusted by some of their traits at the same time. You can love someone and be angry at the same time. You can have a love and hate relationship, experiencing opposite feelings at the same time. The tapestry is rich.
This is why sometimes as we try to move on, we feel like we’re dying inside. It’s because all these strong emotions that we felt are subsiding, making us feel like we aren’t feeling “enough” anymore. The human heart loves to feel all kinds of emotions, positive and negative. So, we hold on to the status quo, just so we can continue to feel. So, we can continue to feel alive. We trick ourselves.
Ultimately the key to moving on from any situation, be it a relationship, a job, or any other situation, is absolute utter honesty. Whether consciously or subconsciously, there’s a reason you’re staying emotionally put. A part of you has a stake in it – whether it’s your ego, pride, or inner child. Psychologists suggest many of us try to aright our childhood wounds through our partners – those wounds are deep, so our inner child might get really triggered by what your partner does and by the breakup.
If you can’t see what’s holding you back yet, get support. Talk to your friends who do relationships well. Journal every morning, even before coffee, before your consciousness kicks in. Employ the stream of consciousness method where you just write and write whatever comes to mind. Without censoring or editing. You can also talk to a love psychic or a past life psychic to take a deeper, more intuitive and spiritual look at your situation.
Talk to a love psychic now